Mom Resume

All moms should have a resume.

We do so much. There are “highlights” and “achievements” that we should call out. Everything we do is a unique skill. Short of saying, we have superpowers, but to be humble, these are skills, people!

There should be a Moms Linked In group and we should all endorse one another of our skills. Why do we not endorse each other enough?

In the short span of three weeks, I moved our entire family from San Francisco to Singapore, in response to a new job offer that the husband got. And then in less than two months, we’ve found a new home, got a new car, enrolled the boys in a new daycare, established our old routines in a new place, and I’m starting a new job in three weeks.

My “Mom Resume” will state these skills:

– Global Mover (Yup… not moving across cities but countries. In. Record. Time.)

– Super Unpacker (I unpacked almost all but 14 of our 149 boxes in three days while the husband was at work and the kids were in daycare. My back hated me.)

– Mind Reader (my dear sons will attest to that, especially when they are shrieking and not a soul in the room, including the daddy, can comprehend what’s causing the meltdown.)

– Fashion Stylist (for all seasons, whether this be the winter fashion line for San Francisco climate or summer active gear for Singapore’s famous humidity.)

– Coffee Machine Specialist (the husband loves his coffee, and yours-truly is the machine fixer. I’ve got Nespresso and Jura under my belt. Descaling, cleaning, emptying air block. Check check check!)

– Researcher (the internet is my worldwide library of ANY fire that I need to put out at home – be it a mold problem, a point-of-view on vaccinations, psychological changes in my growing twins….)

My circle of mommy friends are super heroes – there are super bakers, super artists, super vacation planners, super party planners, super chefs…. and the lists keep growing. I’m always impressed by what moms do, on top of staying awake in the days and nights, and trying to put on some decent guise as a human. We lose ourselves in what we do for our kids, so I say… we should be entitled to a “Mom Resume”.

Endorse away!

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Wheels on the Bus

When you’re a mom with toddler(s), you sing. ALL the time. EVERYwhere.

I used to think I must be the only crazy mom who sings to her toddlers everywhere we go. I felt awkward and embarrassed to be singing about buses, spiders and an egg who fell from the wall (that’s Humpty by the way). And I sing cos I feel frazzled on the inside, trying to make sure my twin toddler boys do not run away in separate directions from me.  I thought everybody sharing a space with me and my tots must think I’m crazy.

Until this morning.

On a not-so-crowded bus, a mom sat her toddler boy down. Her toddler boy’s cute golden curls was peeking out of the sunhat. She did not look frazzled. In fact, she looked very calm and well put together. Picture perfect mother-and-son.

Then it started.

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round…” And then it was the spider. And there was the alphabets. And one familiar tune after another. And there was a “yay!” at the end of each song.

I was about six rows behind them. And I smiled the widest smile you could have seen me don in a long while.

I know that routine too well. I’m glad this mom was not embarrassed about it, cos now I know I’m not crazy.

Crazy is the new normal, right?

Plus I have twins. Boys.

Ok. Today’s been a good day. And I’m starting to blog again.

Daycare reflections

I had a rare moment to read today. And I came across a blog titled I’m Less Freaked Out! Kinda feeling freaked out today, I decided to read it.

And I ended up balling my eyes out. Quite sure it’s because the boys started daycare just last week, and I was envisioning their lives to be enriched by being in a well-structured, well-run daycare while struggling with the guilt. Also, when I read this post and see how young minds get changed because of a teacher who was willing to broach a possibly difficult topic. But she did it! And so many little minds were impacted.

Most heartwarming to me, was Ryan’s big-heartedness. That he didn’t scream and flail his arms at the little kiddos (trust me, I know how tempting it is to do that, every day of facing off with the toddler tantrums times two!!!) but he was being the Big Hearted Adult, and took the time to answer their questions and acknowledge their reactions. (The “my brother is seven years old!” made me laugh, and I’m glad Ryan didn’t.)

I reflect and wonder – how many of us parents will bother to do this? For the past seven days, I felt like I could barely manage dropping the boys off at daycare and making sure they finish up their breakfast before I head to work. I had some two-line conversations with other moms/dads who were dropping off, and all I could managed was remember ONE mom’s name and five other little kiddos’ names. How would I be able to manage if I were in Ryan’s situation? How do I make time for my kid, make sure her emotions are taken care of, and also consider all her friends’ learning experience?

I might not have done it.

But after reading this, I realize that I need to. Some things are more important because it is a life lesson. You don’t realize how life lessons can impact a young person’s life, until he/she needs to confront personal convictions.

Thank you Ryan. It’s not just the little kids who learnt a lesson. I did too.

Happy Mother’s Day

One Day After. Yesterday.

That was when I could pause and tell myself, “Happy Mother’s Day”. And then realized the day was just over.

I was dressing for work when that moment struck.

So what did I do? I decided to do a quick toenail paint job to celebrate it. More like a paint-over, to be frank, because I already had color on them, but they were chipped to an embarrassing level.

Me and my “The New Black” nail varnish to celebrate Mother’s Day. The Day After. Took all of two minutes to paint over.

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My latest trusted, go-to pampering treat. The New Black nail polish in Gold Grenade

When you have twin toddler boys, that is the compromise until they can do their bit to take care of themselves. But it’s alright. In five years, I’d be sure to claim my Mother’s Day prize, and I will want my breakfast in bed, sleep-in and loads of kisses and hugs. And double it!!! 🙂

Life sure is crazy now. Non-stop whirlwind. Schedules and routines to stick to, at home and at work, to make sure nothing falls apart. Or, WE don’t fall apart. But looking ahead, and knowing that my boys are growing up; from being babies to being toddlers, and soon they will be little guys with words that express their own individual thoughts. That keeps me going.

Some call it “hope”. Some say moms are the ones that hold the vision for the family.

Honestly, I think it’s only because we need to look ahead to keep sane. If we look at the now, all we see is poop, watery noses, tantrum screams and smeared food (and chipped nails in my case), and all these doesn’t speak a nice picture. We need to look into the future to feel the bliss, and use that bliss to feed into the now, so that we can keep on going on in the now.

Which means, me and my freshly painted toes are having a celebration with Spring shoes. While my mind lives off the breakfast bliss to come in five years.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Me and freshly painted toes and Spring shoes!

Sharing: After Learning My Flight Was Detained 4 hours

These days, I find motivation in the stories that my friends are sharing around. Every day, we are sharing someone else’s story that they heard from someone else. But it doesn’t matter whose story it is. What’s important is that the stories, when shared, lend strength, add motivation, inspires hope.

This is one of the beautiful stories I came across this morning… – “After Learning My Flight Was Detained for 4 Hours”

I thought:
We should live in a shared world. 
We should share Life. Not fears. 
Turn tears into laughter. Shared laughter. Shared lives. Shared world.

And today, I am inspired to go out and buy a plant, because I love what the tradition of old country traveling tradition symbolizes –  Always stay rooted to somewhere.

Thank you Nora Leah, for sharing this story.

Being Less Than Perfect

This is why we all need girlfriends. My mommy-friends have been keeping me sane in my journey as a new mom (to twins, boys).

This morning, a dear friend posted this article from Huffington Post Parents. In this article, Lea Grover’s called out the insane polarities of what REALLY goes on in a mom’s life. We’ve been warned of the pregnancy hormonal swings, but no one really spoke about the polarities that go on in a mom’s life as we raise the little ones.

We all know it’s tough. We all know every mom tries her best to put it all together. We just don’t really talk about when it doesn’t work. Maybe it’s the pressure to have to seem like we can hold it all together. Remember the timeless comment that “Mom is the one who holds the family together”? I wonder how many of us feel challenged to upkeep that model Mom stereotype.

My sister is the first mom I know who told me: it’s ok to let yourself go crazy once in a while – if you’re going nuts on the inside, you are going nuts, so scream.

But not many moms sit over a martini and talk about their parenting frustrations.

So thank you Lea Grover, for saying what we often push to the back of our minds, when trying to be more than adequate above every crazy details that gets thrown in our faces. Daily. Every minute of the day.

And don’t get me wrong. It’s not that motherhood is not wonderful. Motherhood is the best thing that happened to me. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and we had a difficult journey being here, so every day that I look into my boys’ faces, I am grateful that I get to be a mom to them.

But I’d like a little more honesty to go around this mystical journey called “motherhood”.

Just this week, I was telling myself how this “mom” job seems like groundhog day. It just keeps going and going and going and going. Not in a bad way, but not in a good way too. That’s why we live for the moments. The good moments. Because I have never been so fatigued in my whole life, and the good moments lend you fuel to keep going in spite of humanly fatigued.

“I know that you didn’t get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don’t believe that you’re doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.

I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.

But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.

You take care of things, because that’s your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.”

I need to frame this article up somewhere in a mommy wall of fame. To remind myself that it is ok to be less than perfect. That it’s ok I feel so inadequate around the house all the time. That it’s ok I can’t seem to catch up fast enough with my boys running in the playground. Because I kiss my little ones every day and tell them I love them. Because I have changed so much of my lifestyle to make sure they are well taken care of. Because when the babbling toddler wanted a specific episode of Incy Wincy Spider YouTube, and no one else in the room understands him, I could.

And now I’m going back to my bed covers, because this less-than-perfect mom has the perfect cold.

The best thing to hold on to in life….

The day after the Boston attack, Baby Center posted this picture. I kept repeating these words famously minted by Audrey Hepburn in my head, and had to agree with the statement.

Three days on, and My mind still cannot reel in the reality of what happened. All I remembered was, sitting in the office and hearing about the news. We all froze in front of our computers and kept checking for news updates.

When I went home that evening, I gave my toddler sons extra hugs. Their little minds do not understand what was happening, and all they know was that Mommy was giving them some extra attention.

And that was enough.